One of the worst things you can do when a person is grieving is to tell them, Not to cry. Grief is an emotion that has to be expressed otherwise it will insulate itself within the person’s personality and manifest in forms of anger, resentment, bitterness, and the like. There is nothing wrong with crying if you are hurt, grieving, wounded or afflicted. Crying is just as natural an expression of emotion as laughing. We don’t forbid to laugh when something is funny so why do we forbid or feel ashamed to cry? Men in our society especially are looked at as being feminine when they cry. But the Bible clearly states that Jesus cried, in fact it’s the shortest and one of the most powerful verses in the Word of God.
If you are hurting or are grieving, CRY. Let it out. Allow opportunity for those damaged emotions to release itself. Allow time to heal. Be real and honest with yourself and cry when you need to. Now this is not a license to walk around like a waterhead, but when the occasion reveals itself, please cry.
Case in point, many, many years ago, I lost a friend who was extremely close to me. His death was sudden and for the most part, unexplained to me. I tried to be ‘tough’ and ‘hold my composure’ but at his funeral being overcome with grief, I fainted. Even weeks after that I was still in denial, expecting his death to be a hoax and still expecting him to call or show up at my home. Vain imagination started taking control of my mind because I had not properly grieved. One day while driving to work, a song came over the radio that reminded me of him. At that point, grief manifested in me and nearly caused me to have a serious accident. I began to cry uncontrollably, to the point of anger because my unresolved grief caused bitterness, hostility, anger and resentment. I started screaming and took my hands off the steering wheel in a rage and nearly lost control of the car. An angel passed by me and said, PULL YOUR CAR OVER! That person saved my life that day because by this time my emotions were clearly OUT OF CONTROL. I pulled of the street, parked and released the grief that I had been carrying around with me for months.
Saints, grieve if you must. Don’t let folk shut down your ability to release pent up emotions of sorrow and disappointment. Weeping goes hand in hand with our night seasons, but we have been promised joy at the breaking of day. Be encouraged.
Acts 8:2, “Some devout men buried Stephen, and made loud lamentation (weeping) over him.” NASB
For God will, “grant those who mourn in Zion, Giving them a garland instead of ashes, The oil of gladness instead of mourning, The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting.” Isaiah 61:3 NASB