Time and tested word of wisdom: When engaged in ‘heated fellowship’ in marriage, never begin your statements with YOU. When you do that, spirits of accusation and blame are invited into the marriage. Always begin with YOUR FEELINGS from YOUR POINT OF VIEW. Example. I feel neglected. I feel abandoned, (instead of You left me, You forgot about me). Example. I feel as if I can’t be trusted with money. I feel like I’m under a microscope, (instead of, You don’t trust me. You are always watching me). Example. I don’t like being compared to others. I’d rather not be second place, (instead of, You are always comparing me to others. You always put me second).
When you describe your feelings instead of placing the other person’s faults on the table, they are MORE LIKELY to listen. But when a person feels as if their character is being assassinated or assaulted they will DEFEND THEMSELVES AND RETALIATE. When a person is being verbally assaulted, they will ATTACK IN RETURN. When a marriage is under attack from spirits of blame and accusation, spouses will lose attraction for one another, lose interest in each other, and lose the will to fight for unity in the marriage. This is what we MUST AVOID AT ALL COSTS. Be angry but sin not. Wisdom saves marriage and I pray it saves yours.